Min Woo Lee leads the Australian PGA Championship by three shots from Rikuya Hoshino of Japan and by four from WA’s Curtis Luck. Adam Scott and Lucas Herbert lurk further back, sharks in the shallows.

Yet it seems that only Lee can halt Lee’s charge at the title. 

Perhaps, though, just perhaps, further back in the pack, there’s someone, somewhere, with a course record of 63 – or lower – in their quiver.

We wander, green-to-tee, down nine, eight, seven, six, through a succession of golfers grinding out for some coin. MacIntyre, Canter, Smiley, Micheluzzi. None can win, but they’re doing their best to squeeze whatever they can from the lemon. Hey, T56 and a cheque for eight grand still beats working.

Fifth hole, fourth hole, third hole. There’s Kazuki Higa – the Tony Liberatore come Perry Haddock (Google ‘em, kids) of golf; he could’ve been aboard Harry’s Boy at Doomben on Saturday.

Mansell, Geary, Dodt, Guan. Through they come, the pros, grinding, wafting, fairways-and-greens, doing their best on the slick little greens.

Englishman Eddie Pepperell missed the cut by two on Friday and told Golf Australia magazine that he'd never seen anything like Royal Queensland's greens.

Kazuki Hija (-3) extracts artfully from a greenside trap at Royal Queensland. PHOTO: Getty Image

“I’ve never seen greens as small and as penal, especially on the back nine. It’s unusual to play greens which are this small and this undulating. You’ve really got to be on your game with your irons around here.

“And if it gets windy I think it’d be a real challenge," Pepperell said.

We dream of wind as the clock ticks past 10am and the queues for the Party Hole begin to move, a blur of Hawaiian shirts and jimmy-jams, Rip Curl and Mambo are the united colours of Betathon ... something.

It is dinkum steamy hot as we head to the driving range and find Cameron Davis dressed in black, head-to-toe. Shirt, pants, hat, shoes, all in beautiful heat-absorbing black.

Did Gary Player dress him in the dark? You fear he'll end today like Ron Burgundy at the end of Anchorman: “Milk was a bad choice.”

Adam Scott looked typically svelte on day four in the PGA Championship at Royal Queensland, finishing with 12-under for the tournament. PHOTO: PGA of Australia

The galleries are five deep at the other end gazing at Adam Scott with a driver as if it were Adam the first man.

The range is a fever-dream for the mug amateur – pyramids of Pro-V1s to ping into the ether, there isn’t a golfer looking on who doesn’t want to pocket a couple.

We head to the first tee. We’ve made a decision on a group: Davis, Leishman, Niemann. Super pedigree there. Perhaps one of these people can put a hot wind up Lee.

And then, blessedly, the nor-easter picks up, and washes over us like balm, ruffling the bright red flame trees and mighty Moreton Bay figs which largely sit back from the fairways, decoration not feature, unless you are bad.

Curtis Luck shot 69 but it wasn't enough to reel in the champion. PHOTO: Getty Images

We go inside the ropes with some men with “Inside the Ropes” passes, the Royal Queensland equivalent of Willie Wonka’s golden ticket. And there we see each of our threesome hit the first three greens in regulation, with only Marc Leishman making a birdie.

We move onto four and choose that moment to visit a Port-a-Loo, and are thus enjoying a contemplative moment when there is kung-fu pandemonium outside. There's a massive roar. A man in the adjacent booth remarks: “Gotta be hole-in-one.”

"Gotta be," I reply. Only one reason for that noise: someone’s aced the fourth.

Turns out it’s Joaquin Niemann who’s high-fiving everyone on the tee including officials, marshals and spectators on the rope. He smiles all the way to the pin. Enjoys fresh applause when he plucks out the pill. Kids will never forget the beaming smile of the nice man from Chile.

 

 

Then word comes through: Min Woo's bogied the first...

Leishman birdies the fifth. A man yells out: “Well done, Leishman!” And you think: big fellow needs a nickname.

While Davis couldn't buy a putt with Willie Wonka's money, Niemann birdies seven and Leishman birdies nine. And 11. And 12! Here they come! Tarantaraaaa! 

Can we now pen the headline: ‘Hot Chile Man Catches Fire at RQ’?

Min Woo Lee clowning about in a chef's hat on the 17th Party Hole at Royal Queensland. PHOTO: Getty Images

Or will it be Leishman whose putter gets hot and we can toss around puns for un-Leished and Off the Leish?

What do you say, Golf Gods?

The answer comes back: Yeah, nah. Yes-no. A double-affirmation of no. A no so negative it needs a yes to affirm it.

You get the gist.

Because news comes through: Lee has holed out for eagle on nine. He’s gone to 21-under. He will birdie 12. He will birdie 15. He will romp in.

Nieman will end his crazy-brave tilt at the title with 67 and 13-under, eight shots behind the champion in fifth.  

Leishman round will finish with a birdie on 18 and 7-under 64, and outright third, four shots behind the champion. 

Heck of a ride, RQ.