Wiffy Cox (1934), Les Kennedy (1949), Al Brosch (1952), Dick Knight (1959), Bobby Brue (1961), Al Mengert (1966), (amateur) Marty Fleckman (1967) and Labron Harris Jr. (1971) are some of those “one-hit wonders.” All qualify as almost completely anonymous on the public spectrum.

Known primarily for the severity of the largely one-dimensional test – long rough, firm greens – the U.S. Open isn’t often humorous either. But at least in 1990 the event did briefly buck that stern trend. After 18-holes at Medinah, the Simpsons (Scott and Tim) were tied for the overnight lead.

And so it goes on. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you Callum Tarren. The 31-year-old Englishman’s 67 at The Country Club has him tied for second place in the 122nd U.S. Open alongside four others, one of whom is a guy called Rory McIlroy. All five are one shot behind Canadian Adam Hadwin.

I know, who the bleep is Callum Tarren?

Well, it turns out he has quite a tale to tell, one involving the PGA Tour China, the Korn Ferry Tour and, so far at least, a disappointingly regular inability to play on weekends on the 2021-22 PGA Tour.

RIGHT: Callum Tarren is playing his second U.S. Open and for the second time had dramas with his clubs. PHOTO: USGA.

In 17 starts, the man from Darlington in the north-east of England has missed the halfway cut six times. On a happier note, he has recorded one top-10. A T-5 at the Puerto Rico Open provided $62,500 of the $265,664 he has so far amassed in his rookie season.

To be fair, this U.S. Open is actually Tarren’s second. He also made it through qualifying in 2019, when he missed the cut at Pebble Beach by four shots after rounds of 73 and 75. So he can play a bit. Tarren won the 2018 Order of Merit on the aforementioned China Tour. That provided promotion to the Korn Ferry circuit, from which he graduated at the end of last season.

Tarren has a sense of humour too. Under “personal” in his PGA Tour bio it reads: “Worked at the Open Championship that Tom Watson almost won. Was in perfect position to watch the last four holes and the play-off.”

So he’s a bit of a battler. He’s had to be, at least in the U.S. Open. Three years ago he flew from Atlanta to San Francisco, from where his connection to Monterey was scheduled to leave Sunday evening.

“We were about to take-off when someone dropped an iPhone charger in the doorway,” he says. “And when they shut the door it crushed the charger and bent the door. We had to deplane to let them pressurise the cabin to see if there was any leak. There was, so they cancelled the flight and we took a $450 taxi to Pebble Beach. They said the baggage would come on Monday morning so we went to the airport at 8am. My case was the second one out, but my clubs had been re-routed to New Orleans and Denver. No one knew why.”

The clubs arrived on Wednesday and Tarren left on Friday, back to the obscurity he has largely enjoyed since. But now he’s back. And so are the travel woes. After missing the cut at the Canadian Open last week, Tarren flew from Toronto to Boston on Saturday. Well, he did. His clubs did not.

“There were five other players on my flight,” he explains. “They all got their clubs. But not me. So this is the second U.S. Open I've played in – and second time no golf clubs. This time I got them back a little bit faster. Luckily, somebody I know in Canada went to the airport and gave the airport staff a little kick. The clubs arrived on Sunday at 2:00 p.m. So it wasn't too bad.”

“There were five other players on my flight. They all got their clubs. But not me. So this is the second U.S. Open I've played in – and second time no golf clubs." - Callum Tarren.

Nor was Tarren’s golf, although his start suggested his best hope might be nothing more than a chance to make the cut after a second circuit of this grand old course. One-over par after 11 holes (he started on the 10th), the Radford University graduate made two birdies and an eagle over the next seven. Voila, 67.

The eagle was, of course, the highlight. Just over 200-yards out after a big downwind drive on the 557-yard par-5, Tarren opted to hit a 7-iron approach.

“I picked a club that was going to fly to the middle of the putting surface,” he explained. “The front section of that green is crazy. I was aware of that. Anyway, the ball flew about 200 yards and fed left off the slope in the green, just as I intended. It finished just perfect.”

Afterwards, Tarren was honest enough to admit he and his playing partners, Hayden Buckley (who shot 68) and Fran Quinn (76), got the best of the weather when they teed-off first at 6.45am.

“When we started there wasn’t much wind at all,” says Tarren. “The greens were a little bit softer, too. My caddie kept saying, ‘pars are good, pars are good.’ And I did make a lot of pars. But to finish like I did really topped off my day.”

A great day, a day he should enjoy and remember. History, however, is not on his (the side of the unlikely) side. Cox did go on to finish a respectable T-3 in 1934, but for the rest of our unlikely heroes, the remainder of their weeks in the national championship sun soon enough clouded over to varying degrees. Kennedy finished up T-19; Brosch was T-15; Knight 10th; Brue T-22; Fleckman T-18; and Harris T-46.

Respectability was their consolation prize. Which is kinder than the verdict harshly administered by former PGA Tour player Peter Jacobsen: “The slums of Chicago are full of first-round leaders.”