“You have been idols in the golfing world for decades, and what's really, really interesting is you've been brilliant over these many decades; it's just not limited to within the ropes,” opened Augusta National's Rob Johnson.

“It's what you have done, all three of you have done as ambassadors of golf for your entire career after your playing days were put to rest. All of us appreciate and love seeing y'all. This honorary starter ceremony, to a lot of us, is one of the most cherished traditions in all of golf ... to see our heroes come back. And, gentlemen, you are the most beloved ambassadors in the game of golf. Thank you so much for who you are and what you have done.

“We will open it up to questions.”

Thankfully, before anyone in the room succumbed to a diabetic coma, those questions started coming; Nicklaus revealing his six victories have bequeathed only four trophies, all replicas of the Augusta National clubhouse.

Ah, but the schmaltz was soon back in evidence. In response to being asked to describe what it is like to put on the green jacket each time he returns to the Masters, Player was off and running on a sugar-coated trail of mawkishness.

“Having been here or associated with Augusta for 67 years and having come here for the first time in '57 and met one of my heroes, President Eisenhower, because, as we all know, he's a man who believed in freedom, and what he did for this great country, you can't describe it,” said the three-time Masters winner.

“I had such admiration for him.

“So the wonderful memories that I have of this golf course, from the beginning, memories are so important in your life. They say it's the cushions of life. Having been very poor as a young boy, and suffered a great deal as a young family, coming here and putting on a green jacket the first time and then a third time and then I was second on three occasions, it's been wonderful.

"The best way to describe it is ‘gratitude’ - how fortunate we are. I've traveled more miles than any human being that's ever lived now, and my eyes have seen things that are enjoyable, but also very sad. And so you come here to this great country of the United States, the greatest country that God ever made, and that's a privilege, and an honour. To be part of this tournament is something that is much appreciated.”

Wow.

Thankfully, things picked up when Watson was asked for his thoughts on the current chaotic state of play in professional golf.

Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, Augusta Chairman Fred Ridley and Gary Player are all smiles ahead of the 88th Masters. PHOTO: Getty Images.

“We all know golf is fractured, with the LIV Tour and the PGA Tour doing the different things they are doing,” said the eight-time major champion. “I got up at the (Masters) Champions dinner and it was really a wonderful event. We were sitting down and we were having great stories about Seve Ballesteros and people were laughing and talking. I said to (Augusta National chairman) Mr Ridley, I said, ‘Do you mind if I say something about being here together with everybody?’ He said, ‘Please do.’

“I got up and I'm looking around the room, and I'm seeing just a wonderful experience everybody is having,” he continued. “They are jovial. They are having a great time. They are laughing. I said, ‘Ain't it good to be together again?’ There was kind of a pall from the joviality. It quieted down. Then Ray Floyd got up and it was time to leave hope that the players themselves took that to say, you know, we have to do something ... We have to do something. I know the three of us want to get together like we were at that Champions dinner; happy, the best players playing against each other. That's what we want in professional golf, and right now, we don't have it.”

There was time, too, for a little humour when Nicklaus came to describe the 8-iron he shanked off the 12th tee here in a far-off Masters. The questioner thought it happened in 1967, but Jack knew better.

“64,” he said immediately. “I almost killed Bob Jones and Cliff Roberts. Shanked it right over their head in the last round.”

And the future? As ever, Player had something to say about the seemingly eternal question of distance in elite golf. Not one to miss a chance for hyperbole, the 88-year-old South African painted a dire picture, one he sees ending only when something akin to Armageddon looms.

“Nothing about the game today, not one single thing, is the same as when we played,” he declared.

“Not one single thing. We’ve got to cut the ball back 60 yards, 50 yards. Otherwise, the whole concept of the game, the history of the game, the par-5, par-4, par-3, that's gone. There are no more par-5s. These young guys are hitting 8-irons to par 5s. So we are changing the whole history of the game. They talk about making golf courses longer. The world is running out of water, seriously. I'm quite concerned about where the game of golf is going.”

Join the club Gary, join the club.