Eddie Pepperell of England made seven birdies in his one-under 70 in the opening round of the Australian PGA Championship at Royal Queensland, a round that included an approach shot for the ages, a triple-bogey seven, and a lob wedge that now sleeps with the fishes in a pond behind the 14th green.
After turning in even par 36 for the front nine, Pepperell didn’t make a par after the 11th hole, his card then reading birdie-birdie-triple-birdie-birdie-bogey-birdie.
On two-under with five holes to play, Pepperell’s round threatened to unravel on 14 after his drive was stuck behind a tree that Mike Clayton seems to have forgotten to clear in his 2017 redesign.
Pepperell then hit a fat sideways chop out that just made the fairway before a seven-iron approach that instantly fell out of his hands, never a harbinger of quality. Call it the reverse twirl. It was ugly.
There followed a duffed chip from behind the green and one that was good-as-bladed, before his 60-degree wedge was catapulted into the drink. Two putts and a triple-bogey seven resulted and Pepperell didn't look in the mood for a chat.
As he put his putter away, however, a kindly and perhaps extremely brave marshal asked if he’d like the club back, as the chap had a very good idea of where in the pond the instrument had splashed.
Pepperell’s response was not unkind but included words to the effect of “thank you, no, the damnable thing is dead to me and can sleep in its watery grave forever.”

At time of writing, the wedge had still not been found, despite the bare foot efforts of several locals fossicking about in the shallow pond.
After Pepperell's round Golf Australia magazine ventured a question or two, and asked him to talk us through the calamities of 14.
“The third shot with a 7-iron was a really bad shot," Pepperell said. "Where I hit it, there followed a couple of bad short-game shots.
"And obviously it was a terrible seven. No other way of saying it: it’s not a seven you’d see someone make who’s really on top of their game.”
A momentum-shifting birdie on the par-5 15th was followed by a strong if slightly pulled drive that ended up under a big Moreton Bay Fig, about 120 metres from the flag on 16 green.

There followed surely one of the shots of the tournament as Pepperell hit 9-iron flat and under the boughs of the fig tree, the ball rising into the air and, as it approached the flag, landing and biting and stopping to four feet on a small, undulating parcel of land.
He gave the shot back after going long on the Party Hole but made a booming putt on 18 to go into Friday in red figures.
“It was so up and down on the back nine," Pepperell said. "Crazy round.
"To be fair I'm a bit rusty, I haven't played for three weeks.
"But I definitely found something on the greens on the back nine and hopefully it’ll take me into some good form tomorrow.
“Now I just need to get a new lob wedge,” he added. "Do you know if there's a pro shop nearby?"
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